


Bärchen

by HappilyNervousCollection



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, M/M, Pining, Wingman Jester Lavorre
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-24
Updated: 2019-11-24
Packaged: 2021-01-03 17:15:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21183071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HappilyNervousCollection/pseuds/HappilyNervousCollection
Summary: Jester was very, very strange, but Caleb couldn’t help but adore her for it.OR; Jester confronts Caleb about his feelings towards Fjord, and to help him cope, she gives him a little gift.





	Bärchen

Jester was very, very strange.

It had started with a rather energetic knock at his door, insistent and paired with a voice, loud and excited. “Caleb! Caleb, can I come in? I have something very important to talk to you about!” Jester called, and Caleb could practically see her already, rocking on her heels just outside the opaque wood of his door. He sighed, glancing at the page number in his book and setting down his quill, turning to the door.

”Ja, come in.”

The door might as well have flown off it’s hinges with how strongly it was thrown open, the visage of Jester Lavorre standing in his doorway, one arm tucked carefully behind her back. She grinned, something excited and eager, not wasting a second before quickly bouncing into the room- her tail flicking and shutting the door behind her. 

Caleb couldn’t help the small quirk to his lips, making an attempt to hide it as he turned. Jester had sat herself down on the edge of his bed, her arms propped behind her as she leaned back. With a bit of amusement, watching her tail flick back and forth excitedly, he asked, “Is this in regards to those antigravity pranks you had planned?”

Jester shook her head, her grin getting a little wider. “No, but thank you for reminding me about that! I have to plan,” She answered, and her expression calmed as much as any expression of her’s could, settling into a look she only used when she was supporting the others. Supporting him. “And even though my pranks are super important, this is something also super important. Maybe _more.”_

Now that caught Caleb’s attention, his lips pursing as he leaned forward, his arms resting on his knees.

“More important than your pranks?”

He was answered with a small nod, and there was a pause in the room where Jester seemed to get her bearings, figure out her wording. When she finally gathered herself, she began to kick her feet, offering that same reassuring smile to Caleb.

”You like Fjord, right?”

That question caused the air in Caleb’s chest to suddenly seize, his ears turning pink and his lips pressing together. He stared for a moment, trying to catch any sort of bluff- but Jester seemed sure of herself, and was meeting Caleb with that same reassurance, that same comfort. Caleb swallowed the dryness in his throat, his brain working quickly for a reply.

”He is... Jester, Fjord is a strong part of our team and family. He is- He is well skilled, good in battle, and I trust him to take care of all of us-“

“But you love him, right?”

The word ‘love’ had Caleb’s heart hammering a little quicker, his expression faltering for a moment. 

He’d come to terms with these- these _feelings_ a while ago, but he had decided that it was for the better if he let them be. Decided it better that he not risk the group dynamic, not make Jester unhappy, not make things awkward with Fjord and perhaps the rest of the Nein. But Jester knew. She _knew._

So what use was there in hiding it from her?

“Ja,” The word was quiet and breathy, and Caleb almost didn’t want to admit it. He couldn’t meet Jester’s eyes, his gaze locking onto the floor as he steeled his expression, trying to calm his breathing before he spoke again. He wrung his fingers, letting his breath leave him in a slow exhale, and when he spoke, the words were a little braver. “I’m sorry, Jester.”

“What are you sorry for?” Jester asked, all too innocently, and Caleb wondered if she knew how easily she could tear his heart in two. His breath hitched, and he bit his bottom lip, focusing on anything but her undoubtedly broken expression. “Caleb- look at me, please,” Now that- that wasn’t fair. Her tone was desperate and apologetic, and it had no right to be. She had no right to be. 

Swallowing, he met her gaze again, only to find that same soft reassurance, ever present and gentle, and just so Jester. If not for the fact he held his lip between his teeth, he probably would have let out a sob. 

“Caleb, it’s okay. You don’t have anything to be sorry for.” She assured, and Caleb’s eyebrows twitched together, his eyes narrowing in search of cracks in her visage, in search of anything that would lead him to believe otherwise. When he found nothing, he gathered himself, finding the right words to say. 

“You like him. You- Jester, you are far more deserving of him,” He said, a strain to his voice he couldn’t wholly choke out, a strain he cursed himself for the second he saw pity in Jester’s expression. 

“Caleb,” She started, drawing out his name in a soft coo, her smile turning a little lopsided. “A while ago, I sort of realized something. I think- You know how you grow up hearing those fairy tale stories, where nice strong men find the princess, and they fall in love together?” Caleb nodded stiffly, and so Jester continued. “I think I fell in love with the idea of Fjord, like he was a big strong man who I was supposed to fall in love with.”

She paused, and then she giggled, leaning forward a bit, her smile reinvigorated. “And honestly, his muscles aren’t _that_ big.” She teased, and Caleb couldn’t help the laugh that escaped him, unable to regret it when he saw Jester’s face light up. “I mean- I could probably cradle him like a _baby.” _

Caleb smiled, his lips pressed together and his expression relaxing. “You could throw him across a room, yes,” He agreed, a faint chuckle to his voice. Jester nodded quickly, the charms in her horns shaking a little.

”Right? But what I’m saying is- I don’t actually like Fjord like that. Not like the way you do,” She finished, and she gave a beat, giving him a tender expression that made his heart melt. “You deserve nice things too, Caleb. You deserve to have a nice ending.”

She stared towards Caleb expectantly, and it felt like she was going to keep looking at him like that until he believed it. Until he considered it just as true as she did. And he sighed, a shaky smile on his face as he nodded. She beamed, and one of her hands reached behind her back again, the other holding her upright. 

“Soooo, I noticed how you were being super duper adorable around Fjord, and sometimes you get close to him when we’re in the bubble, and sometimes you stare at him with this really adorable face, and I decided to make you this!”

When Jester pulled her hand out from behind her back, Caleb couldn’t stop the startled laugh that escaped him, his face running hot. 

“Jester, that is very... very unusual.”

In her hand was a plush replica of their companion, accurate right down to the newly growing tusks. It was probably a foot or so from end to end, a white section at the hairline increasing it’s height by an inch or three. Even from where Caleb was sat, it looked soft. How Jester had gone about making it, Caleb had no idea. 

Jester didn’t directly answer Caleb’s statement, instead holding the plush Fjord in front of her face. Her other hand grabbed it’s arm, waving it towards Caleb. “Hello Caleb! I’m Mini Fjord, and I’m here to love you! And I’m totally not weird _at all,” _

Caleb almost snorted at Jester’s impression, her own voice slipping in at the end. His smile had turned toothy, and that only seemed to spur her on further, her eyes peeking out from behind the stuffed animal. Her grin became more elated, her tail beginning to flick behind her. 

“I am very huggable and I would love it if you cuddled me. Maybe we can practice?”

Caleb must have been bright pink by then, grinning from ear to ear like some sort of madman. Regardless, he stood from his seat, approaching where Jester sat on his bed. She grinned up at him, and he reached out, wrapping his arms around her. Jester was far too wonderful- and as the plush arms began to move, rubbing along his shoulder, he chuckled, pulling back and taking the stuffed animal in his arms. 

Jester’s hands clasped in her lap, her expression positively overjoyed. Caleb cleared his throat, awkwardly moving the plush limbs. Gods, he hadn’t had a stuffed animal since he was a kid. 

“Thank you, Jester. And I am ah- I am very strange, you know,” The Mini Fjord ‘said’, Caleb’s impression definitely falling subpar. But for the laugh it brought from Jester, Caleb figured it was worth it. He smiled, looking to Jester, a fondness to his expression. “Thank you. I will take good care of him.”

“Of course,” Jester nodded, standing up from her seat on the bed. “I’ll see you later, Caleb. Bye Mini Fjord! I hope you get lots of cuddles and smooches.” 

And with that, she bounced out the door, careful not to keep it open for too long. Caleb sighed, alone in the silence, holding the plush a little closer to his chest. It really was soft, and Caleb couldn’t help a breathy chuckle, shaking his head. 

Jester was very, very strange, and he adored her for it.

—

It would only be later that night, with the door locked and an alarm set just outside his room, that Caleb would wrap his arms around the body of the stuffed animal. He’d sigh, his face pink with embarrassment, his heart aching as he rest his head along the miniature Fjord’s back. 

It would only be that night that Caleb would inhale, his eyes widening and his ears practically aflame, as he realized Jester had somehow- somehow- gotten the plushie to smell like him. As he realized the stuffed animal smelled of salty waves and warm leather, and a faint floral scent along with it all.

And Caleb’s heart would pound against his chest in a way that felt painful, in a way that ached. And an elated feeling would swell in his chest, a nervous sort of energy that made him want to kick his feet and grin. And Caleb would sigh, taking in the scent and forgetting the embarrassment, imagining for just a moment that he had his arms wrapped around the real thing. Imagine he had a warm body in his arms, asleep and just as content as he felt.

And Caleb would fall asleep aching.

—

It was easy enough to hide the plush.

Nobody aside from Essik and maybe Dairon ever entered his room, and for the former, that was always on a schedule. It was a simple thing to tuck the plush underneath his bed, out of sight for as long as the Dunamancy lessons took. As for Dairon, Caleb suspected they didn’t quite care enough about anything, much less something like this.

Jester was kind, and a good secret keeper. She hadn’t made any sort of snide comments, any teasing remarks in front of their friends. Only a simple, “You look really well rested. Are you finally going to sleep earlier?”, a question he brushed off without any hiccup.

He’d decided not to take the plush with them on adventures, though. Not only was it impractical, it ran the risk of the plush becoming damaged, or one of the other Nein finding out. The nights they were out, Caleb would awaken in the morning, only to find he had moved a little closer to Fjord. Those mornings, he’d sit up, scooting away a little. Only Jester seemed to notice though. 

When they’d return back to the Xhorhaus, for however brief it would be, it was always a relief. Caleb was always eager to return back to his room, but the addition of the plush meant a good night’s rest and maybe some hope of satisfaction. Just entering the room made him sigh, a soft grin spreading across his face as he set his bags down. 

He approached his desk, sitting down and shrugging off his coat and book holsters, setting the leather straps down on the table. It was nice, having a quiet environment to study his spells, to practice and make sure he could cast them if he needed to. So, he set to work, removing his spell book and transcribing two new spells he’d learned, repeating arcane words and drawing the somatic movements. 

It wasn’t long into the process though when he received a knock at his door, two small raps making themselves audible. "Caleb, do you mind if we talk for a moment?” Came a voice from the other side of the door, a familiarly accented baritone that had Caleb looking up from his work, eyes drawn towards his door.

“Ja- come in.”

Not even a moment after the words left his mouth, he regretted them. He quickly glanced towards his bed, eyes widening and his heart stammering as he saw the plushie, sitting at the head of his bed along his pillow. He cursed under his breath, quickly pushing up from the chair and moving to his bed, hearing the creaking of the wooden door behind him. 

“Thank you. I wanted to talk to you about that boo-“

Caleb hadn’t had much time to act.

All he’d managed to accomplish was rushing to his bed, taking the plush and hiding it behind his pillow, only to be caught with his back turned oddly and his hand underneath the pillow; a rather conspicuous position. And, judging by the way Fjord paused, his expression turning confused and then smug, the man had caught on to something.

”What do you have there?” He asked, and that damned smile, it was downright criminal. One of his eyebrows slightly cocked, his lips tugging to one side, glimpses of growing tusks poking out from behind his bottom lip- it made Caleb’s face grow warm. His smile only seemed to sharpen at that, and Caleb’s stomach twisted at the idea that he was visibly blushing. 

“Nothing,”

Fjord didn’t say anything, instead, he took two steps forward, his expression turning something devilish. It nearly rivaled Jester’s, though, with the mischievous streak Fjord had been sporting recently, Caleb couldn’t call himself surprised. What he could call himself though, was flustered, a buzzing energy settling into his system. 

”Nothing important, at least.” 

“Really?”

That only seemed to further pique Fjord’s interest, his grin spreading even wider. Fjord had begun to stalk towards him, moving at a slow pace until he made it only a step or two from where Caleb sat. It made Caleb crane his neck to keep eye contact, his heartbeat echoing in his ears, and he was starting to feel caught in a game of cat and mouse. So, with little else to do as cornered prey, he nodded, shifting to better hide the plush from view.

”If it’s unimportant, you wouldn’t mind if I saw it?”

”No,” The word came out rushed, and only a second later did Caleb realize the implications, shifting again in an attempt to further hide the plush. “I mean- I would mind. You can’t see it.”

Fjord’s eyes moved quickly, breaking eye contact with Caleb in favor of looking just past him. Caleb tilted his head at this, his eyebrow quirked, and Fjord pursed his lips. His smile was there, though something in it had calmed, and Caleb wasn’t sure why that was so. At least, not until Fjord spoke, amusement and pride lacing his words.

“See, the thing with that is, I _can.”_

Caleb didn’t quite catch on at first, his mouth opening to insist that _‘No, Fjord, you cannot’._ But, as he realized what Fjord meant, his mouth pressed shut. 

Fjord must have noticed the plush.

Caleb stilled, his eyes wide and his chest turning cold. The warmth in his face felt like nothing in comparison to the cold sweat that crawled down his back, a sickly feeling in his stomach. Fjord must have noticed that too, because he was quick to continue, the amusement and pride replaced with something reassuring and kind, far more gentle.

”Caleb, you don’t have to hide a stuffed animal from me.”

Caleb stayed still for a moment, then sighed, keeping his head slightly hung as he moved the pillow aside. There was a quiet in the room, and it allowed for the mortification to set in. 

“Is that- that’s me-?” 

Caleb didn’t think he could meet Fjord’s gaze, only giving a small nod. He had no doubt that he was visibly blushing- he’d be surprised if he wasn’t completely red faced. So, he swallowed, his voice coming out as a quiet murmur.

”Jester made it for me, a month ago.”

The odd silence that followed was something that Caleb could hardly bare, his thumb moving across the arm of the doll subconsciously. He couldn’t look up to meet Fjord’s face, and as the anxiety curdled in his stomach, he found words leaving him before he could think better of it. 

“I-I do think there’s a certain likeness. It is- um, it’s very soft, for example. It is also very- very cuddly.”

There was another pause, seconds ticking by. Caleb began to think he might as well wish himself away from existence- perhaps learn enough Dunamancy to undo this awful moment, and prevent it from ever happening. These thoughts were interrupted when Fjord cleared his throat, his voice cutting clear through the silence.

”I uh, I have to say. I’m a little jealous,” When Caleb looked up, confused at Fjord’s statement, he found the half orc showing a sheepish smile, his face a ruddy blush. Fjord glanced between Caleb and a spot on the floor, straightening his posture a little. “I would not be opposed to uh, to taking the little guy’s place. If you’d like.”

It took a second for Caleb to process what was said, and then another second for him to determine that Fjord wasn’t joking. With that determined, Caleb took a breath and nodded, moving to one side of his bed and patting the now empty space. At this, Fjord’s eyes widened, going a little slack jawed, the blush on his face seeming to worsen. But slack jawed turned to grinning, an elated eagerness taking over as Fjord moved to occupy the spot on the bed. 

Fjord laid down, sprawling across the covers. He met Caleb’s eyes, and with a sharp inhale, Caleb followed, laying down. He hesitantly draped an arm across Fjord’s mid-section, resting his head along Fjord’s shoulder. Fjord’s arm shifted, and then a hand, big and impossibly warm, landed on his back. It made Caleb shiver, his face near red as he scrunched his eyes shut. And for a moment, they just laid there.

”Caleb, you can breathe, you know.”

That was probably a good idea.

Caleb exhaled, an aching in his chest as he relaxed against Fjord. The inhale, though, made his chest ache in a different way- the scent of salt, leather, and something vaguely floral flooding his senses. It was stronger than anything the plush could have provided, and with the warmth of an actual, breathing person, Caleb found himself stuck in something of a daze. 

Somehow, his heart managed to slow it’s rapid pace, leaving him suddenly hit with the exhaustion of travel. He began to drift off, eyes slowly shutting as Fjord’s hand began to rub against the small of his back. The last thing Caleb remembered before falling asleep was the press of warm lips against his forehead.

-

When Caleb woke up, it felt late. Maybe not horribly so, but definitely a bit later than it had been. Fjord had woken up before him, a warm hand, that same, impossible warmth, tracing patterns across his back. He also must have noticed Caleb stirring, because he chuckled then, a thing Caleb could feel echo in his own chest, and when Fjord turned and pressed a kiss to his forehead, Caleb couldn’t help but smile.

Instead of saying anything and disrupting this peaceful quiet, he leaned up, one arm propped against the bed as he leaned forwards. And maybe it was a thing undeserved, but the press of lips to lips made Caleb light up like a fire, that warmth seeping through him almost more than he could bare, an energy buzzing away under his skin, only buzzing more so as Fjord hummed, the hand on Caleb’s back pulling him closer as he pressed just a little harder into the kiss. 

It was a thing that made Caleb lose track of the seconds, and he didn’t think he could have been happier. 

Then, there was that same energetic knock, if not a bit more rapid paced than before. Caleb pulled back, for a moment, looking towards the door curiously, just as a bubbly voice echoed through the other side of the door. “Caaaaleb! Come on out for dinner!” Jester chimed, though there was a high giggle to her words. She didn’t seem to wait for a response either, her footsteps audible through the door.

Caleb sighed softly, standing up, and Fjord did the same. However, just as Caleb stood up, his foot hit something.

”Hey uh, Caleb,” Fjord started, his voice sounding perhaps a little nervous. Not horribly so, but just enough to partially capture Caleb’s attention. “Are we going to tell the others about this?”

Caleb hummed, bending forwards. When he stood back up, he had an item in each hand. In the first hand was the doll of Fjord, a soft, uncanny plush replica. And in the other was a similar replica of himself, right down to the pattern on his new scarf and the coloration of his new coat. He turned to make eye contact with Fjord, watching as the half orc’s eyes moved between Caleb’s own eyes and his hands. He opened his mouth, possibly to say something, only for Caleb to speak first. 

“I think they might already know,” Caleb mused, a small smile playing at his lips. He hummed, walking towards his shelf, and momentarily set the plushes down as he began to move a few of the ceramic cat figures he had taken to collecting. “Unless Jester hasn’t told them all already. Were you-“ Caleb had to glance behind him, only slightly worried. “Were you hoping to keep this a secret?”

Caleb could understand that, somewhat, but it still hurt just a little. Fjord, thankfully, shook his head. 

“No, not at all. I just wanted to make sure you were comfortable,” Fjord assured, and Caleb nodded, bending down again and picking up the dolls. He turned to the open space he had made and set them down on the shelf, side by side. “They look cute there,” Fjord mused, having taken a few steps closer to Caleb. Caleb turned just as Fjord rest his hand along his hip, and Caleb almost melted against it. “But I think I like the real thing a bit more.”

Caleb held that for a moment, then exhaled, hanging his head to hide the toothy smile he had. Regardless, he set a hand on Fjord’s shoulder, leaning up and pecking his cheek. “Come on, _Bärchen._ They’re waiting on us.”

Jester was very, _very_ strange, but as Fjord’s lips pressed to his again, that fire wracking through him, Caleb was so incredibly thankful for it.


End file.
